So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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