I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
