Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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