didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
