You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
