I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
