It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
