She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dicks are not precious.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize