Plan B is the new Plan A
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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