Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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