I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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