I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
