You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
