you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
