we're chasing vodka with high fives
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There r osticjed everywhere
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
