i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
