at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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