hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
