I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
