I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Soap is not a condiment
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
