it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize