Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
