He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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