Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
