week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it's like heaven, but drunker
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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