I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
