1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
