I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
should my penis look like a turkey
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
