Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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