I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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