i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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