8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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