look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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