Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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