what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
