You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
