but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize