i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
