he thought i was a dude.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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