I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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