We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
