You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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