i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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