and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
