He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
