Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
