Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
