All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
