New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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