Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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