is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
