Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
