Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize