My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
