Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
