Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He shit in the fireplace
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