so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
