Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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