**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
