I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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