I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
