it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's always time for handjobs
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
